Dreams: Man, are they weird

I was once told (and I saw it on TV, so you know it has to be true) that when we fall asleep, dreaming is a VITAL function. Apparently, the act of dreaming is what allows our brain to “re-organize itself”, or something along those lines. (That’s about the extent of my knowledge on the subject. Kinda impressive, though, don’t you think?)

If our brains don’t “re-organize”, you can wake up feeling cranky and tired (as if you never went to sleep). You can also find it difficult to concentrate and become forgetful, or get confused easier. So, there you have it. We need to dream.

Fine, I can live with that, but does this explain why our dreams are so crazy? If our brains are getting re-organized, is this why bits and pieces of your memories all converge in unusual ways? Ever have a dream with people all in the wrong place and time? I seem to be having a lot of these lately. I have a dream that I’m down at an MVP rehearsal, but I’m surrounded by people I knew back in high school, or even grammar school.

Glenn: Hey, Chris! Long time no see, man. What are you doing here?
Chris: What does it look like? I’m getting ready for dance practice for 42nd St.
Glenn: Huh???
Chris: Sure. Allison and I are dance partners.
Glenn: Allison? “Allison-from-7th-grade”, Allison? What the…?
Chris: Come on, Sue wants to get started.
Glenn: (talking to thin air) How the hell do you even know Sue??!! I haven’t seen you in 14 years and I’ve only know Sue for four years so how…what the….who is…AAARRRGHHH!!

Or how about the reverse…when you go back in time and are surrounded by people you are currently friends with:

Ms. Stacy: (5th grade teacher) So, an adjective describes a what?
Glenn: Oh, that’s easy. It describes a…
Dave: A noun.
Ms. Stacy: Correct, Mr. Lemay.
Glenn: Dave? What the hell are you doing here?
Dave: What do you mean?
Glenn: We’re not supposed to meet for another 9 years. And by the way, if this is 5th grade for me, aren’t you like 5 years old right now?
Josie: You’re losing it, Glenn. Now come on, we have to pick up Chad and get to Beth’s birthday at Hurricane O’Reilly’s
Glenn: Hurricane ‘what’?! Who are you?! Who’s Chad? And who is Beth and why do I care if it’s her birthday?!
Dave: Let’s go.
Melissa: (girl I liked in 5th grade) Can I come?

Ever have a dream about someone of the opposite sex and that dream gets a little, ahem…”steamy”? You wake up and the next time you see this person you can’t look them in the eye. As Eddie B. would say, “Yeah, it’s strange. Because now you see just how good they are.” (yuk, yuk, yuk)

Ever have a dream where you know it’s a dream?

Glenn: Wait a minute…this is ridiculous. How can a polar bear and my cat be playing poker? And why are Aimee Hoffman and Mike Greely helping me deliver newspapers for my paper route? I didn’t know these people back then…come on, somebody wake me up, this is too weird. Hello??

Or how about the dreams that are really cool and you desperately try to stay asleep?

Glenn: (as the alarm rings) No, wait! I just won the lottery and I’m living in Hawaii! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiittt!!!! Look, I’m sleeping, see! (snoring very loud) See?! Huh? (wakes up) Aw, crap.

Yes, folks, dreams are very strange, but also very necessary. I’ll try and remember that the next time a dream like this happens:

Lori: (first theater teacher) Ok, Glenn, break a leg out there.
Glenn Um, will do. What role am I playing again?
Lori: (sigh) Charlie Brown.
Glenn: Oh, right! I remember this show. 6th grade. This show was fun!
Jeff: (dressed as Snoopy) Ok, let’s go!
Glenn: Huh?
Mike Caruso: (dressed as Linus) Ready.
Glenn: What in God’s name…?
Heather: (dressed as Peppermint Patty) Check!
Glenn: Now, hang on…
Beth: (dressed as Lucy) Ok!
Glenn: HOLD IT!!!
Jeff/Mike/Heather/Beth: What’s your problem?
Glenn: I’m not going to meet any of you for like another 10 years! This isn’t right!
Mike: (sigh) You’re an idiot. Go back to writing that show of yours, something about a wake.

(The actors exit offstage, leaving a very confused Glenn standing backstage.)

Glenn: Good grief.