Bachelor parties, beer and brawls
This past Saturday night was my brother’s bachelor party. I know what you’re thinking: strippers, donkeys snorting cocaine, people hanging naked out the window…no, you’re thinking of the Tom Hanks movie “Bachelor Party.”
My brother’s send-off was a bit more low-key, but certainly a lot of fun. There was plenty of food (we mixed cuisines, having both pizza and Chinese food). There were several games of darts, several games of pool (I schooled a few of my cousins at a game of 8-ball), and three different Texas Hold’em tournaments. We closed the night out with several games of 45s…my brother and I teamed up and won that one. “Ming-ya!”
Oh, yeah, and there was plenty of alcohol. Can you believe it?
We arrived at the bar at around 5:30 PM, and stayed until well-past midnight, so it was a nice long night. And we made it until around 11:30 PM before “the show” started.
Take a bunch of guys (at a bachelor party, no less), put them in a bar atmosphere, and add loads of alcohol, and I can almost guarantee that there will be some problems (i.e. fighting, punches being thrown, etc.) So, a group of my brother’s friends are playing poker, and some random guy walks over to the table to watch. (I learned later that this guy wasn’t actually “random”; he was an old friend of my brother’s best man.) Apparently, this guy made a joke about something on the table and one of the players (we’ll call him “George”) turns to this guy and drunkenly says “Get the f*** out of here!” And that’s how it starts.
The guy who had come over to the table suddenly got incredibly offended. ”Hey, man, you don’t talk to me like that!” (We all know how important respect is in this time and place…yuk, yuk, yuk) And that was it…these guys started jawing back and forth, and George finally stands up and takes a swing at this guy.
My brother’s friends dragged George outside. He tried to barrel back inside once or twice, but my brother’s 6’6” friend put a stop to that real quick. It took about 15-20 minutes for everyone to calm down and cool off, but eventually someone drove George home.
I’m watching all this wondering if my brother is gonna kill George later, but while it’s all going on, I look over to my brother, and he’s sitting there with a huge smile on his face! His words: “Just sit back and enjoy the show.” And he was right…watching a 5’5” guy trying to fight his way past three guys who are all over 6’ is a lesson in physical comedy. I always find it amusing when a guy is being held back and he starts spewing his venom to whoever is in his line of sight. Three guys are holding this guy back and the bartender says flatly “Get him out of here”, so George starts throwing it at him….”You ass**** bartender! Going nowhere with your life! Working behind the bar, no ambition!” (snicker, snicker, snicker)
Whenever I see something like this happen, I always remember a great quote that my buddy Jeremy Hunt once uttered: “See, this is why pot smoking should be legal. If you go to a bar, there is a huge chance you’re going to get into some kind of fight. But go to a place where everyone is smoking weed, and everyone spends so much time talking about trees, clouds and bugs, that nobody has time to get into fights.”
Pure poetry.
My brother’s send-off was a bit more low-key, but certainly a lot of fun. There was plenty of food (we mixed cuisines, having both pizza and Chinese food). There were several games of darts, several games of pool (I schooled a few of my cousins at a game of 8-ball), and three different Texas Hold’em tournaments. We closed the night out with several games of 45s…my brother and I teamed up and won that one. “Ming-ya!”
Oh, yeah, and there was plenty of alcohol. Can you believe it?
We arrived at the bar at around 5:30 PM, and stayed until well-past midnight, so it was a nice long night. And we made it until around 11:30 PM before “the show” started.
Take a bunch of guys (at a bachelor party, no less), put them in a bar atmosphere, and add loads of alcohol, and I can almost guarantee that there will be some problems (i.e. fighting, punches being thrown, etc.) So, a group of my brother’s friends are playing poker, and some random guy walks over to the table to watch. (I learned later that this guy wasn’t actually “random”; he was an old friend of my brother’s best man.) Apparently, this guy made a joke about something on the table and one of the players (we’ll call him “George”) turns to this guy and drunkenly says “Get the f*** out of here!” And that’s how it starts.
The guy who had come over to the table suddenly got incredibly offended. ”Hey, man, you don’t talk to me like that!” (We all know how important respect is in this time and place…yuk, yuk, yuk) And that was it…these guys started jawing back and forth, and George finally stands up and takes a swing at this guy.
My brother’s friends dragged George outside. He tried to barrel back inside once or twice, but my brother’s 6’6” friend put a stop to that real quick. It took about 15-20 minutes for everyone to calm down and cool off, but eventually someone drove George home.
I’m watching all this wondering if my brother is gonna kill George later, but while it’s all going on, I look over to my brother, and he’s sitting there with a huge smile on his face! His words: “Just sit back and enjoy the show.” And he was right…watching a 5’5” guy trying to fight his way past three guys who are all over 6’ is a lesson in physical comedy. I always find it amusing when a guy is being held back and he starts spewing his venom to whoever is in his line of sight. Three guys are holding this guy back and the bartender says flatly “Get him out of here”, so George starts throwing it at him….”You ass**** bartender! Going nowhere with your life! Working behind the bar, no ambition!” (snicker, snicker, snicker)
Whenever I see something like this happen, I always remember a great quote that my buddy Jeremy Hunt once uttered: “See, this is why pot smoking should be legal. If you go to a bar, there is a huge chance you’re going to get into some kind of fight. But go to a place where everyone is smoking weed, and everyone spends so much time talking about trees, clouds and bugs, that nobody has time to get into fights.”
Pure poetry.
posted by Glenn at 6:30 AM
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