"I Do"
This past Saturday, my brother got married and I gotta say, if my wedding is half as nice as his, I’d be just fine with that. The only thing that would have made the day perfect was if the sun was shining (darn rain!), but hey, you know what? You can’t have everything and since everything else was great, I think they’ll find someway to live with it.
Here’s a wedding day timeline:
4:45 PM – Just before I leave my house, my dad almost impales me through the heart, trying to attach the flower to my tuxedo.
5:00 PM – I arrive at St. Mary’s Church, meet up with Phil and Josie and get some unsettling news. Apparently, the keyboard that Phil was under the impression would be waiting for him, was NOT. (D’oh!) I start having images in my head of Josie singing a capella for the whole mass, until the organist says that he can play for Josie’s first few songs while Phil goes and gets his keyboard. (WHEW!) Thank God for small favors. Thank you, Josie and Phil, for making things work!
5:20 – Having gotten marching orders from the wedding coordinator to “make sure everyone sits down” so that things can start on time, I have to round up all my relatives congregating at the back of the church. “So, is everyone ready to SIT DOWN?? Let’s go, folks, this isn’t a waiting room!”
5:30 – I march my mother down the aisle, with her crying the whole time. Awwww.
5:32 – Myself and the other groomsman have to roll the white cloth down the center aisle for the bride. It takes five tries just to figure out how the thing is supposed to unroll. And rolling it down is a comedy of errors in itself. ‘Nuff said.
5:50 – Having been told by the wedding coordinator that the reading would be waiting for me at the pulpit (I’m scheduled to do the First reading), I walk to the pulpit…no readings! Thank God I have the reading folded up in my pocket. But, oh, no! Does the guy doing the second reading have HIS reading in his pocket…?
5: 54 – Yeah, he does. (WHEW, again)
6:14 – My brother is officially married. My mother cries again, because now there is a new “Mrs. Wakeley” in the world.
6:45 – Mass over. Traditionally, at the end of a wedding, after the bride and groom exit, all the ushers and bridesmaids pair up and follow. However, since there are three bridesmaids and only two ushers, I have to go down the aisle with two bridesmaids, one on each arm. I hear from three different people as we go down the aisle “How come he gets two women?” (Deal with it, boys.)
7:20 – Photographer keeps confusing me with the best man (Chris), who is 6’6” tall. How you mix the two of us up is beyond me.
8:00 – 9:00 – Bride and groom have first dance, food is served, Best man toast, people mingle, etc. My sister-in-law’s cousin recognizes me as the “guy in the casket” from our spring show. Fun being a celebrity, isn’t it?
9:15 PM – Dancing begins. Who ordered all the music from the 70s? Oh, right…hi, dad.
9:16 – 10:30 - I witness my dad and some of my aunts do more dancing in 90 minutes that I’ve seen in my whole life. And who knew dad could move like that? And two of my cousins surprise me with their moves, too. All I can think is “Boy, am I white.”
10:30 – 11:30 – Things start to wind down, bride and groom do last dance together.
11:40 – Helping my brother’s new father-in-law carry gifts to the car, I see a car completely covered in toilet paper and shaving cream. (Gross! Why do we do this at weddings?) I’m relieved to hear “That’s for another wedding.”
12:20 AM – Estimated time I get home. One last time…WHEW.
Congratulations, Mike and Debra.
Debra, welcome to the family. Now that you’ve met everyone, I think I can safely say, from here on out, it’s all downhill. :)
Here’s a wedding day timeline:
4:45 PM – Just before I leave my house, my dad almost impales me through the heart, trying to attach the flower to my tuxedo.
5:00 PM – I arrive at St. Mary’s Church, meet up with Phil and Josie and get some unsettling news. Apparently, the keyboard that Phil was under the impression would be waiting for him, was NOT. (D’oh!) I start having images in my head of Josie singing a capella for the whole mass, until the organist says that he can play for Josie’s first few songs while Phil goes and gets his keyboard. (WHEW!) Thank God for small favors. Thank you, Josie and Phil, for making things work!
5:20 – Having gotten marching orders from the wedding coordinator to “make sure everyone sits down” so that things can start on time, I have to round up all my relatives congregating at the back of the church. “So, is everyone ready to SIT DOWN?? Let’s go, folks, this isn’t a waiting room!”
5:30 – I march my mother down the aisle, with her crying the whole time. Awwww.
5:32 – Myself and the other groomsman have to roll the white cloth down the center aisle for the bride. It takes five tries just to figure out how the thing is supposed to unroll. And rolling it down is a comedy of errors in itself. ‘Nuff said.
5:50 – Having been told by the wedding coordinator that the reading would be waiting for me at the pulpit (I’m scheduled to do the First reading), I walk to the pulpit…no readings! Thank God I have the reading folded up in my pocket. But, oh, no! Does the guy doing the second reading have HIS reading in his pocket…?
5: 54 – Yeah, he does. (WHEW, again)
6:14 – My brother is officially married. My mother cries again, because now there is a new “Mrs. Wakeley” in the world.
6:45 – Mass over. Traditionally, at the end of a wedding, after the bride and groom exit, all the ushers and bridesmaids pair up and follow. However, since there are three bridesmaids and only two ushers, I have to go down the aisle with two bridesmaids, one on each arm. I hear from three different people as we go down the aisle “How come he gets two women?” (Deal with it, boys.)
7:20 – Photographer keeps confusing me with the best man (Chris), who is 6’6” tall. How you mix the two of us up is beyond me.
8:00 – 9:00 – Bride and groom have first dance, food is served, Best man toast, people mingle, etc. My sister-in-law’s cousin recognizes me as the “guy in the casket” from our spring show. Fun being a celebrity, isn’t it?
9:15 PM – Dancing begins. Who ordered all the music from the 70s? Oh, right…hi, dad.
9:16 – 10:30 - I witness my dad and some of my aunts do more dancing in 90 minutes that I’ve seen in my whole life. And who knew dad could move like that? And two of my cousins surprise me with their moves, too. All I can think is “Boy, am I white.”
10:30 – 11:30 – Things start to wind down, bride and groom do last dance together.
11:40 – Helping my brother’s new father-in-law carry gifts to the car, I see a car completely covered in toilet paper and shaving cream. (Gross! Why do we do this at weddings?) I’m relieved to hear “That’s for another wedding.”
12:20 AM – Estimated time I get home. One last time…WHEW.
Congratulations, Mike and Debra.
Debra, welcome to the family. Now that you’ve met everyone, I think I can safely say, from here on out, it’s all downhill. :)
posted by Glenn at 8:54 AM
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