Hatherly Memories, Pt. 1

DISCLAIMER: The following is a semi-fictionalized account of a hodgepodge of memories at 45 Hatherly Road, Brighton, Massachusetts. May my next apartment be the cause of just as much debauchery.

We join the story as Glenn is cruising around Brighton, helplessly lost.

Glenn: Where is this freakin’ street?! What the hell is it called…(glances at directions)…Hatherly Road…what kind of dumb name is that? (glances down again, as a car horn honks loudly) What?! You watch where YOU’RE going, buddy! Ooh, is that it? (turns sharply) Aaaugh! One-way street! Dammit! (throws it in reverse)

Several wrong turns later.

Glenn: Finally! Let me just find a place to park.

17 minutes later.

Glenn: I hate this stupid city. Ah, finally! (parks)
Guy: Hey! You can’t park there! Move your car!

11 minutes later.

Glenn: (mumbling) Half a tank of gas just to park. Unbelievable.

Glenn approaches the door, as loud music, laughter and shouting echoes down to the street. He walks upstairs, into a raving party.

Glenn: Howdy, folks.

All: Hey, Glenn!/Hi!/You made it!/Want a drink?

Richie: What’s up, Glenn? Janessa will be down in a minute, she’s upstairs.

Glenn: Yeah, I know, I heard her down on the street. Got any Kahula in there?

Richie: Sure, help yourself.

Glenn walks in to the kitchen and hears giggles coming from a door in the rear of the kitchen. He goes to investigate, and peers out the door.

Guy/Girl: HEY!!!

Glenn: Whoa! Sorry, folks! (slams door)

Heather: (entering) Hi, Glenn.

Glenn: There are two people on the balcony.

Heather: So?

Glenn: They’re making out like their plane is going down.

Heather: (beat) So?

Glenn: So…um, so nothing. No big deal. This is quite a place.

Heather: Yeah. Check out that door, it’s Janessa’s bedroom. Not sure who's in there.

Glenn: In here? (opens door)

Dave: HEY!!!

Glenn: Ah, wrong door! (slams it shut) Dave Lemay sitting on the can. There’s an image that could put me in therapy for the rest of my life.

Heather: That’s the bathroom, genius.

Glenn: Ya think? (opens bedroom door; trying to see through a haze of smoke) Hello? Anyone home? …(cough)…Janessa, is that you? (cough) What the…(cough)…You’ve got a…(cough)…nice place here…(cough)…I, uh…(cough, cough)…what the hell is going in here? (cough)

Jess C: Smoking a few joints. (smiling) Aaaaaaah, that’s the stuff.

Glenn: Hi, Jess. Smoking weed, huh? (cough) I thought it smelled like high school in here. (cough) Well, um, enjoy. If the walls start bleeding, take five, ok? (exits) I’m just going to stop opening doors.

Josie: (dancing by) Hi, Glenn!

Glenn: Hi, Josie. Nice moves.

Janessa: (entering) HI GLENN!

Glenn: Oh, hi, Janessa. How are things?

Janessa: GREAT!

Glenn: Good.

Janessa: HAVE YOU SEEN MY DRINK?

Glenn: Nope. But I’ll help you look. Care to join me on the balcony? (Heather elbows Glenn in the ribs) What? Worth a shot. (Janessa moves to look for her drink as Glenn walks over to the dining room table)

Dave C: Bullshit! A three doesn’t beat a four!

Kevin B: It does in black, you jackass!

Dave C: That’s crap!

Kevin B: You want a piece of me? (they lunge across the table, trying to destroy each other)

Brendan: Ok, let’s just settle down, everyone! Oh, hi, Glenn

Glenn: You guys take 45s pretty seriously around here, don’t you?

Brendan: You know it.

Dave C: Asshole!

Kevin B: Prick!

Brendan: Guys, guys, come on. Don’t make me get the hose.

TO BE CONTINUED…